Some thoughts that often strike me!

By -
This is something absolutely personal that I am sharing on public space. Buh....Hmmm...Ommm.....
I sometimes get really jealous when I look at glossy pictures of people having fun. There are these bunch of people from my past life who I have absolutely no relation with. These people constantly seem to have fun even now. Let me be more specific, they were the "cool" bunch in one of the institutions that I studied at. I was the kid who was there but not quite. If you know what I mean, the dorky kid but not quite. It's been a really long time after that period of my life has passed. However, I still get all worried and would like to have the same kind of life they have. It's this yearning to be "in", to fit in. I mean I fit in at work et all. But it's still not that cool kind of fitting in. It bothers me that I've not grown out of it. I mean I am 26 for God sake. Why do I still have those pangs? Will I grow out of it? I probably won't. That I am sure.
I always want to have the kind of life someone else has but mine. I have a perfectly okay life but that does not seem enough. The thing about me is I've always wanted to belong to a large group. But that somehow never happened. I've always had a lot of change in life, so I've never stuck around at one place for long. That makes it tough then, to make a big group of friends. So one can't have that glamorous lifestyle of going out clubbing with friends or going out to sing or dance. My life is more with a small group of people.
1)I mean call some people over for dinner.
2) Play singles tennis as I can never find a doubles group
3) Go out shopping with one girl
4) Go out for dinner with my husband
5)Movie with husband and maybe a friend
6) Dance concert with Hubby and friend.

It might sound idiotic but I do feel depressed by this. Maybe I should join JCC and make some new friends. But I also want to work well which means I spend time on studying and enhancing those skills. So spending time socializing is difficult. Anyway hopefully one day I will mature.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hi! I have been/ am a victim of this kinda feeling often. Many a times I take steps to get over such a feeling, but it seems superficial. But you know wat- the ppl in bigger groups don always have fun. In fact most of them are just there for that feeling of being a part of the group. So lets not brood over it :-)
10:00 PM
Devvi said…
Pri,

Sometimes people get depressed if they are struck some where with same faces.. The grass is always greener other side :-)
11:11 PM
C'est la vie said…
Thanks Anonymous. That does make sense. I should probably think of that next time.

Hey Devvi! How are you? So nice to hear from you. I bet that. However human emotions seldom thinks that:)
3:35 PM
Anonymous said…
you are an idiot..the ones that are hanging out there are the ones who are not looking at the future..wait for the some time they will be j of what you are and how they want to be you.. they talk more and feel they do more...you are infact better off
2:33 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tennis- An ode to my love!

By -
Image
 Intra apartment Tennis Tournament After a gap of nearly 7 years I took part in a tennis tournament at my apartment community in Bangalore. Unlike the younger days when I used to participate in league matches, I was a bit rusty on the tournament front. The funny thing is I do not find many women playing in the community. Hence to have a separate women’s tournament at the community is impossible. Therefore I persuaded my tennis male buddies to allow me to participate in the tournament when the idea was first mooted. They did not need much persuasion as they know I am a certified tennis lover like all of them. This brings an important point, most minorities just want to be treated equally and get a seat at the table. Game,set and match I knew my shot of winning a tournament like this was a long one. There were several disadvantages like weight, an average serve, weak backhand and inability to have a good court coverage. The thing that was going for me was my enthusiasm with the game ...
Read more

Errr..Arghhh

By -
School is finishing up and generally emotions are running high. There are a lot of things to do. ON top of all this I have been wondering about the human psyche. The words that come to my mind is the "power game". Some people want to always be at the higher end of the equation. Well it's not possible always. I mean the people who generally make the effort to always keep in touch also loose out sometimes. I mean they're also tired. How many times can they alone keep it going? How much of work all these things are! Is ego everything in life? Or is this some sort of message that others have to read. A really close friend of mine is going thru a rough patch now because she was at the lower end of the equation. I always told her it was fine and you do not have to go by book. She was fed up of the mind games and the moves she had to play. It was like constant game of chess. My sister often gets into these introspective moods and I used to blame her then for over analyzing. ...
Read more

Snow, Skis and pain

By -
I signed up for a SKI trip organized by graduate student wing at school because I felt I must do something different. I mean for a person from the tropics getting to do something in snow is bloody exciting. So we left in the morning at 6:45 AM for seven spring ski resort. Though it hasn't snowed for a week at pitt these people kind of preserve the snow with some chemicals and something else. So we entered seven springs and it was really cold. The person from the tropics was of course well equipped. Three layers of sweaters followed by the BIG FAT UGLY red jacket. But a girl's gotta do what she's gotta do when it's below freezing. So after the initial ski lesson we learnt the basics of sking. Then it was upto us to practics and try stuff. So I skied for about 6 hours yesterday and right now my feet feel like jelly fish and my hand and feet are swollen. The thing about sking is that one needs to learn from your mistake everytime you fall. But me being a slow learner, took...
Read more